I'm Fine

Derek: How is Meredith anyway?

Cristina: Fine. 

Derek: She’s always fine. That’s her problem. 

Cristina: We’re fine people. We do fine. We’re fine.

...In the Absence of Hope

MEREDITH: “…You think you have forever, but you don’t… I need something to happen. I just need a sign. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope, and in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed and feel like I might die today.”CRISTINA: [pauses, then drags Meredith out of bed] “Whatever. Everybody has problems. Get your ass out of bed and get to work. NOW! Move, move, move!”

Optimist vs Pessimist. Which am I? (posted on Oct 14, 2012)

I’ve thought about this quite often. I’m always trying to be an optimist. Always hoping that things will work out for the best eventually if not immediately. I’m not saying I don’t think about what could go wrong. It’s natural that the thought occurs, but I force myself to not think of it and instead  think of how something could be positive.

But at times, while talking to people, I think is this the right approach? People think about the future and plan. I avoid thinking of the future, avoid thinking of what could go wrong. As a result I don’t prepare myself. I tell people that chances are that things won’t work out the way you plan, so why worry about it now? I mean, worry now, and worry later. isn’t it better to relax now and worry when you actually have to. 

I see bad things happening all around me, but instead of criticizing the culprit, I wonder what was he thinking while committing such an act? what forced him into this? what went wrong in his life that made him this way?

I’m afraid that by not seeing the truth for what it is, closing my eyes to reality, I’m hiding myself inside a bubble where I think no evil exists. But the problem is just because I refuse to see the evil, doesn’t mean that evil doesn’t exist or that it won’t hunt me down and prove me wrong. What if I realize it too late?

Okay, so I’m realizing now that right in the start I said I try to think positive, and this entire post is about what could go wrong, that’s quite negative.  =/

B for Busy. B for Bored

During the Semester, can’t wait for summer holidays. During the final exams, literally counting days when the exams will be over and I’ll have freedom. freedom to do anything I want (almost anything )

First day of vacation, yayyyy holidays, sleep it off.

second day, yayyyyynessss. I can do anything I want. catch up with tv shows or something

third day, ummm, what do I do now?

fourth day, call up friends asking them what to do. how to spend the summer.

remaining holidays. I’m bored. tell me what to do. I have nothing to do. aarrrggghhh.

This is how I spend my summer. These days I’m so bored out of my mind. nothing interests me anymore. yeah I watch tv-shows but unlike before, I’m just watching them to finish them off. sure once I start watching, it grabs my attention, keeps me busy for 2 days, and then again I’m like now what. then feel guilty about wasting holidays, work a little and then again start another tv show and the cycle keeps repeating. This is how spent a month. time flies by.

Before starting university, I used to love watching movies, and now I can’t get myself to start watching a movie. my frequency of watching movies every weekend or daily on vacation has dropped down to once or twice a month. i like movies but it just doesn’t grab my attention like it used to. All the time I have this voice in the back of my head telling me you are wasting time. you should work. so I start to work, and I get really involved in it. work continuously for hours non-stop. but then there comes a point when you get exhausted and you take a break, and then that break doesn’t end.

The worst thing is when I start thinking. my mind goes haywire, it just starts to work and think and think and think and think and think and think and …… never stops. and even if I try I can’t stop it. I try to think of something particular, remember something, I can’t because I feel like I have a mind block. its just the worst feeling ever. due to this I feel lazy and tired all the time.  I want to think about important things like set goals for myself. Plan for the future but NO, my brain’s too busy processing other stuff to care what I want to think about =/

so the point of this this entire post was that the only thing that has managed to grab my attention this summer is TEDxTalks. sure I’m wasting time but I also get the feeling that I’m learning something. these will definitely help me somewhere sometime in life. Although I must admit, because of my busy brain my memory has become so bad I can’t recall what I heard moments after I complete the video. yeah so anyways, I’m gonna be posting the good ones here, try to check ‘em out. you won’t be disappointed.

Suicide Bombers (posted on June 26, 2012)

I came across this piece of writing, and it reminded me of “suicide bombers” as mentioned by Nadeem Chawhan, A guest speak in my Organisational Behavior class.

http://haveheart.com/features/self.html

It’s important for us to stay away from suicide bombers, but its not really that easy 

I’ll try looking for what I mean by suicide bombers here. *youtube search*. Long search. can’t find it at the moment. If I come across it later, I’ll post it then.

basically the concept is that anybody who spreads negative thoughts is a suicide bomber. so stay away from them.

I did it Again (posted on june 12, 2012)

I know, I know…I said I wouldn’t stop blogging, but the truth is after the exams ended, I forgot I had a blog =/ SADNESS. seriously, what kind of blogger am I if I forget about my own blog. I’ll try my best that it doesn’t happen again.

I’m happy today. over the past year, I thought I changed. Today, I realized, I didn’t change after all. I realized I’m my mom’s copy, and these similarities, no one can change them about me. Now, what I thought were changes, I wouldn’t call them changes anymore. I would call them exceptions, in the form of best friends.

okay, that’s a short post. I’m out of things to say =/

ummm…its a start. better than nothing, right?

GoodBye One Tree Hill

9 years of one tree hill, finally come to an end.
“it resonates with people on a very personal level” – Nathan Scott
“feel like I have a history and a family, that’s gonna be the hardest to walk away from” – Quinn
“its like you have a friend or a loved one, that you know you’re not gonna see anymore” Mark Schwahn
“this was somewhat of a coming of age show. we met our characters as juniors in highschool. to spend 9 years with those characters, you can feel so much growth” - Mark Schwahn

youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMenv6_UVXA&feature=share

one tree hill meant different things to different audiences…for some people it was guilty pleasure. we did psychos, and we did car crashes. we never set put to make it that way. for many of our fans it was not that. It was very heart felt and very real. sometimes we wanted the small moments to be the big moments. and other times we wanted it to be, loud and scary, and mysterious. we wanted to leave people on the edge of their seat

youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8PT0XB2oBY&feature=share

Thank you Mark Schwahn

youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuDVjuFKgmA&feature=share

One tree hill will be greatly missed. I grew up with this show. There was this connection with the characters, that I’m going to miss the most.