I wrote this in class after Ms. Sajida was called out of the class and everyone was talking among themselves, actually more like screaming their heads off.
There's another side to ME, The side that I don't really like, the side that prevents me from being happy. It controls me in state of confusion, in awkward situations, it controls what I think and say. It thinks too much leaving my mind exhausted and blocked. It prevents happy feelings from entering it.
The thing I hate about most about it is that, it prevents me from saying what I actually think and feel and often results in artificial answers. I would like to apologise to everyone who has been a victim of this, WAIT, are you the victim, or am I? I suddenly feel like I’m the victim. I’ve been the only victim all along.
I’m confused and cannot decide when I’m ME and when this other person takes over.
Those artificial smiles and artificial phrases are not who I am, Those are the things I sometimes end up regretting. But it’s not always fake, not with my true friends. There have been frequent occasions in the past 2 years, when I have experienced real emotions. REAL HAPPINESS.
But then I think back and realise that, this other person is also ME and is a huge part of what makes me ME. Without it I won’t be who I am. I won’t be the person you are friends with, and I’m not ready to let go and so I’m not ready to let this other person go
I think it’s coming back…taking over ME or taking over itself?
Remember what I was telling Iqra about 'balance'?
ReplyDeleteKeep both of your sides with you :)
Maybe both, are what make you, You.
Ok WOW! How did you come up with this? Such a diverse topic. Impressive! =D
ReplyDelete